Suicide cases among Pre-teens- Just a Worry or An Alarm?

 

The WHY is not yet answered and perhaps there would be no BECAUSE in the suicide case of Amayara, the student of Neeraja Modi School, Jaipur since the one who knew the reason, is no more. My brain was really frozen for the days in this context. I could not move an inch in my thought process but the reason was very clear that I didn’t want to play a blame game by finding out the visible faults but the root cause. Else being a principal and teacher it would have been easy to blame parents and as usual for parents it was easy to blame school and teachers which they did. I had clear answers to unanswered questions Amayara left us with, that we got failed in nurturing children rightly, failed in shaping the secured childhood, failed in being careful guardians, failed in teaching the importance of a human life, and failed in raising the children of 21^st century. Amayara's steps toward the jump is not just a death but a progress report card to all elders where the progress proves our incapabilities.

While becoming more techno savvy, richer, more advanced, creating more luxury, more earnings, more numbers and more flexible, pouring more love, more pampering we got failed in understanding how tough the time has been for our children with no preparation to face the life challenges. Are we getting failed in saving their childhood?

As per my understanding the pre-teen age group children take everything personally, have big and intense feelings, often confused as they are still in their learning phase of regulating emotions. Cognitively they start thinking more logically but not able to understand the consequences fully, neither they have the ability to see long-term outcome since they are not that mature. So, at times they may appear impulsive and influenced heavily with what they feel deeply in that moment. Friends and their opinion matters more than the elders, and appears to be very sensitive to rejection, criticism and embarrassment.

Because their coping skills are not yet developed, their small problem felt deeply can be as big as an international issue for them to get rid of but the fact is that’s their problem. We can’t label these like silly, small or useless because we have bigger problems.

9 years old Pranshi played outside till late evening, was afraid of going back home and face the parent’s scolding, because the child knew it was late. A 9 years old will naturally choose playing wth friends than to be on time. To stop this assumed/experienced scolding situation to occur what do you think Pranshi should have done? 

She comes back home silently and hides herself behind a bed. Whatever the questions appear in our mind are straight away rejected because the adults thought process is not to be compared with a young one's.

So, when the mother got free from kitchen and started looking for her daughter in the colony, got worried. When she didn’t find the little one, asked to the neighbours and later called up the relatives to help her since the husband was posted out of station. A winter night at 8:00 pm was enough for all impossible ifs and buts for a mother’s heart. Pranshi’s uncle came immediately and decided to spread an audio message on loudspeaker in the village. The day they had a village fair too. What if Pranshi has gone to the fair, or someone has taken her to the fair or if she is kidnapped. But these were a few mature people who were questioning not the 9 yrs old as her worry was limited to that scolding. 

When the elders decided what to do, they shut the door to lock and leave. Suddenly the mother heard some voice. They switched on the lights and looked for everywhere what this voice was. And they found Pranshi sleeping in a deep sleep behind the bed in one of the room. Let’s cut short the further story since that’s scarier than what Pranshi could have imagined for being late.

Such a young child like Amayara can’t take a decision of committing suicide was my thinking as well but after having a deep thought, I reached to the conclusion that they can decide. These young ones do not understand death fully, and so Amayara too didn’t wish to hug death perhaps, but wanted to stop the pain/problem which resulted in the loss of a human life. She might have got trapped in a moment of distress. She might have chosen this way to show how deeply she was hurt. Or she should have mimic something learnt from somewhere.

The clipping showing her jump shows her reaching to that place with no hesitation. She climbed up but didn't not jump. her position on the railing doesn't validate her jumping despite of having the intension to jump. She slipped before she could have thought anything. She didn’t get a moment to measure the consequences of jumping from there and she slipped. So, there are chances a child in pre-teen age can commit suicide unknowingly in the moment of distress, hurt deeply or choose this to express. Children are immature but we are mature, why are we failing in preparing them to face the challenges and not to escape? 

Now the point is that the real life will come up with lot more challenging situations and that will lead to more pain and stress perhaps, if they are not ready to face will they commit suicide? Living the life at it's fullest is far far away, will they be able to survive?

Who to be blamed for Amayara’s life is not a question but-

- HOW to stop such increasing cases in future is. 

- If the tough and strict parents and teachers taught the righteous lessons of life or the helicopter parents and the pressed teachers is the question? 

- Are we really shaping their lives or just palying a love game?  

Let’s stand united to save the ‘childhood’.

 

-Manisha Lashkari